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Catch Him if You Can

IMG_6470It is impossible to think of St. Patrick’s Day or Ireland without envisioning a wee little man dressed in green protecting his pot o’ gold beneath the rainbow. Leprechauns are as Irish as lads and lassies.

While they are usually depicted as smiling, ginger-haired elves whose eyes twinkle with just the right amount of holiday mischief, the truth is that Leprechauns are best left alone. They drink heavily, are expert liars, and consider humans so greedy that they choose to avoid us at all costs.

Sure, catching one means you are entitled to his treasure, but the little boogers are experts at tricking you out of both the gold and your sanity.

A far better idea is to catch them and cook them. Delicious!

You will need:

  • 1 large leprechaun or two small leprechauns
  • 5 bottles Irish whiskey
  • 1 cup malt vinegar
  • 4 gold pieces
  • 1 cup salt
  • 3 TBSP parsley

Place the gold pieces and 3 bottles of whiskey in a large container with a strong lid. When the leprechauns crawl in to get the gold, shut the lid tight. The Leprechauns will self-marinate by drinking the whiskey. Allow them to sit in the container for 24 to 48 hours.

After the 24 to 48 hours is up, remove the Leprechauns from the container. They will be drunk and truculent. Allow them to punch one another, as this will tenderize the meat.

After they pass out, brush them with the malt vinegar and sprinkle with salt and parsley. Place on grill for 30 minutes, turning after 15.

Serve with Colcannon potatoes and the other two bottles of whiskey. Drink a lot because, after all, you’re eating Leprechaun. And that takes some liquid courage.

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10 Things You Might Not Know About St. Patrick’s Day


  1. There’s actually nothing uniquely Irish about clovers. They are found all over the world.
  1. Patrick was not born Irish. Or Christian. As a youngster he was kidnapped from Scotland and converted while in captivity. A vision led him to return to Ireland years later as a bishop.
  1. Originally the holiday was associated with the color blue, but legend says it switched to green because revelers believed wearing green would make them invisible to those pesky pinching leprechauns.
  1. In order to follow true Irish tradition, only Catholics should wear green. Protestants should be decked out in orange (did you know the Irish flag has both colors to represent the different sects?).
  1. The shortest St. Patrick’s Day parade in America happens just up the road in Maryville, MO. It runs for half a block. Don’t blink.
  1. One of the largest parades happens way down south. Savannah, GA, claims more than a million spectators line up each year to watch its two-mile parade.
  1. There have never been snakes in Ireland thanks to the icy ocean surrounding the island. The legend of Patrick driving the snakes out came from the fact that snakes often represent evil and the saint did drive out pagan customs on the island.
  1. On any given day 5.5 million pints of Guinness, the famous Irish stout brand, are consumed around the world. But on St. Patrick’s Day, that number more than doubles to 13 million pints.
  1. Corned beef and cabbage is American, not Irish. Irish immigrants found the traditional St. Patrick’s Day meal of pork and potatoes to be too costly so they substituted what is now considered a holiday staple.
  1. The best toast for your Guinness? “The Scots have their whisky, the Welsh have their tongue, but the Irish have Paddy, who’s second to none!”




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